Godly Instructions for Marriage
1 Corinthians Chapter 7
We know that marriage was instituted while Adam and Eve were still in the Garden of Eden.
At this time, the human race was in that period of life described as innocence.
Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Gen 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
Gen 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
Gen 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Gen 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
A Biblical marriage can only be between one man and one woman.
One man, born a man, lives as a man, and one woman, born a woman, has lived her life as a woman.
God does not recognize the marriage of two homosexuals
God does not recognize the marriage of the LGBTQ movement.
God does not recognize the marriage of two people who are confused about their gender.
God will never recognize the marriage of more than one wife.
God will never recognize the marriage of a man and some animal.
God will only recognize a marriage that is in obedience to the Word of God, and the Church should do the same, or be in defiance of the Word of God and living in sin.
We know these things have divided many so-called churches today, just as they divided the Church at Corinth.
The Church at Corinth was a cesspool of immorality, just as the City of Corinth was immoral.
Many churches of today have rejected the Word of God and have allowed all sorts of immorality into the church.
Every church of today needs to be concerned about marriage.
Believers must understand the concept of marriage because it was Jehovah who instituted the concept of marriage to begin with.
Chapter 7 and verse 1
*****1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Even if society is falling apart, which it is, in the divorce courts of this world and immorality and cohabitation run rampant, and it is, the Church that Jesus Christ built must hold high the truth of Biblical marriage.
Marriage is ordained of God, and God never changes.
Mal_3:6 For I am the LORD, I change not;
It is a fact that God said it is not good for man to live alone, but here Paul says it is good for a man not to touch a woman, but this is not a contradiction.
There are special situations for not marrying!
That word "good" means advisable. Which can mean that it is open to advice.
Let's look at the words of Jesus Christ: Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
**Mat 19:11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
Mat 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
There are times that unmarried persons should remain unmarried because of situations happening in this world by unbelievers, such as Christian persecution, but we can also include wars, economic collapse, disease, obligations, and some other things.
We should also consider what God has called us to do.
We know that most men would not be able to live in this because of the sin of lust.
Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
1Th 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
What is a virgin?
Rev 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.
Rev 14:5 And in their mouth was found no guile: for they are without fault before the throne of God.
A man could remain pure because there is no immoral sin between the singles in the Lord's Church.
Of course, it is the same for women.
Notice next the command of the Holy Spirit.
*****1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
This Scripture should be the rule of the Church!
This marriage is done to avoid fornication.
We are sexual beings, but we are to follow the Word of God to avoid sin.
Without marriage, there would be no human race!
Without marriage, there would be no foundation for the family.
Notice this verse eliminates polygamy.
This verse eliminates the marriage of two lesbians.
This verse eliminates the marriage of two men.
This verse eliminates the marriage of two people who do not know if they are a man or a woman.
This verse eliminates the marriage of a human and an animal.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
A good marriage is a type of the design of the Church that Jesus Christ has built.
Many groups of the human race will no longer exist simply because they have neglected true marriage, and this may be why some have already disappeared.
Jer 29:6 Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.
Some countries, like Japan, Taiwan, and South Korea, are already experiencing noticeable population declines.
The U.S. and many countries in western Europe have below-replacement fertility rates but have not yet seen significant population decline.
China, for many years, allowed only one child, and the parents chose boys over girls, but now China is begging for families to have three children.
Our President said we should pay families to have children.
God said to Israel Get married and have enough children so that their population would not go down while they were in captivity.
God blesses the good marriage.
God blesses those who keep themselves pure.
God blesses those who give themselves to the work of the Lord and remain single.
God blesses those who live a life that avoids sin!
*****1Co 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
We must understand that there are mutual duties within a marriage.
That word benevolence used here means debt.
Both the husband and the wife have rights in a Biblical marriage. Each one can expect to receive some things from the other.
Both have a responsibility to pay the other exactly what is due to them.
If we go back to the very first marriage of Adam and Eve, we know that in typology, this first marriage was a type of the Church.
It was God who said that a man should not be left alone.
It was the Church that the Lord God formed.
Jesus Christ has but one wife, and it is the Church. Jesus Christ did not have a wife when He walked upon this earth, and He did not lust for any woman, and He certainly was not gay.
It is the Lord Jesus Christ who has made the Church happy by His "Grace".
The Church has but one husband, and it is Jesus Christ, and comes by "Faith".
Hos 3:3 And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.
The marriage of one man to one woman is special and is to be eternal, and is to be based on love!
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
The word "render" used here is a continuous action.
The rights and the duties of the man and the woman are to be continually fulfilled.
Some say this verse means sexual rights, but it pertains to all the rights and the duties of the husband and the wife.
To the husbands:
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
To the wives:
1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Marriage is mutual ownership.
*****1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
We must understand that a good marriage comes because these two people will put comfort, well-being, and happiness before their own.
Every married couple has made obligations to each other that they must keep.
It is not a matter of giving and taking; it is just a matter of giving to each other.
God knows we have sexual needs, and He gives us the outlet of marriage to satisfy those needs.
Heb_13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Just as God is in everything, He is clear and forceful in His instructions for a good marriage.
Both husbands and wives have equal rights over the other's body. This is part of the marriage union.
Both the husband and the wife belong to each other so fully that to withhold is an act of fraud, cheating the other of what he is due.
Both the husband and the wife must agree to abstain, but only for fasting and prayer. This is the only exception given in Scripture.
We know that the health of each other is also important.
These things are the beginning of an intimate family structure that has disappeared in this sinful world, but must take place with God's people.
Neither the husband nor the wife will stay apart from their spouse for too long a period of time because of temptation.
We have to give Satan his due; he is strong in temptation, especially in this sex crazed society.
The stronger the bond of marriage between two Christians, the stronger the loyalty and the security of the family.
A good marriage begins when both husband and wife have surrendered their lives to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Only His presence and power can keep marriages according to the Word of God, along with much prayer and, yes, some fasting.
It is not good for us to believe that every marriage would work out just because we are obedient to the things mentioned by Paul, when we know that without prayer, nothing will work in this world.
John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
We are all created differently from each other, and we will do things differently, but Jesus Christ is always the same, and He will guide us in His ways in all things, even marriage.
*****1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Marriage is God's gift to society.
Being single is also God's gift.
Because persecution was coming to the Church, Paul said it might be best to remain single to those people who had already lived much of their lives in wickedness.
The fact is, everyone must do as God's gifts call them to do.
Corinth was an immoral city, so many of these church members had already been married and divorced and remarried, and many of these second marriages were any better than those first marriages because of wickedness.
Paul said it might be better for them to stay as they were when they were saved.
It was time for wickedness to end in the Church.
The Lord Jesus has given us the one rule for divorce: Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
No doubt some women were saved without their husbands, and some men were saved without their wives, and the Lord Jesus said this was not a good reason for divorce.
If that unbeliever decides to depart from the marriage, then they should remain unmarried or be reconciled back together.
The Lord Jesus explains this to every Pharisee: Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
As the Lord Jesus explains, why would we ever want to live in sin and call ourselves Christians?
We would be no different from the world.
Paul said to these Corinthians it would be better to remain single than to live in sin.
We should understand that God hates divorce!
Mal 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
To God, divorce is not just a wrong choice; it is a destruction of His work, a violent act He abhors.
There are three groups of people in this Church at Corinth.
1) The unmarried.
2) The married.
3) The rest of them.
There were mixed marriages of believers with non-believers.
*****1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
What do we do on those occasions when we cannot find the answer we are seeking from the Word of God?
The Lord Jesus gives us this answer: Joh 16:12 I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.
Joh 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.
Joh 16:14 He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you.
Joh 16:15 All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall shew it unto you.
When those times come that we just do not know what to do, we must not forget we have the Holy Spirit living within us, and we must trust Him to lead us.
We may also have to do some fasting and praying.
God will not leave us in the dark, and we know the Lord Jesus is the Light in all things of God!
These were those church members who gave themselves to the Lord, but their spouse did not.
God has already warned us against marrying someone who is lost.
2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2Co 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2Co 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Sometimes people have enough love to stay together under all circumstances, and sometimes they don't.
We must understand that we are living under "Grace”, and we must show that "Grace" to the unbelieving spouse.
We must also show forgiveness to that person the same forgiveness we have received from Christ.
We must show the love that Christ has shown us.
The bond of this marriage is still holy in the eyes of God.
Any children that are born from this relationship are just as children born from any Christian marriage.
Rom 11:16 For if the firstfruit be holy, the lump is also holy: and if the root be holy, so are the branches.
But they choose to depart from marriage, the believer is under no obligation to try to stop them from leaving.
*****1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
If you are married to an unbeliever, you are not under bond to that unbeliever if they choose to depart for that reason.
We do not know if this is true if you choose to marry an unbeliever after your salvation, because God commands us not to do this.
2Co_6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Remember what God says are commands and not suggestions.
If one person in the marriage of one man and one woman gets saved and the other rejects the Gospel, then that person should try to keep the marriage functioning, but this may not be possible.
If that unbeliever decides to depart, then that marriage bond is broken, and that person is free to marry again, but only to a believer.
We can see that "peace" in each believer's life is important to God!
1Co 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
2Co 13:11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.
Heb 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
Some saints would even try to keep that marriage together in the hope of leading that spouse to the Lord, but there is no way of knowing this.
In fact, in most cases, it is the unbeliever who would try to lead the saved spouse back into the world.
In every portion of our lives, God has called us to live in peace!
One more important thing we should see is that the believer is not to initiate this divorce, but it is the unbeliever who has decided to get a divorce.
This was a problem in the early church.
One of the great heathen complaints against early Christians was that Christianity broke up families.
This is something that the Lord Jesus said would happen, and it will get worse.
Mar 13:12 Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death.
Mar 13:13 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
God is never caught by surprise.
God tells us to abide in the same calling wherein He has called us.
We are bought with the price of the blood of Jesus Christ; we are to serve Him rather than serve mankind.
If we are married when God calls us, then we should not seek to be loosed.
If we are single, it may be best that we do not marry, but we must beware of the sin of lust.
It is very hard for a young person to remain single because this wicked world is so full of immorality and peer pressure.
Every wife is bound by law!
*****1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
1Co 7:40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
Every Christian widow has the right to remarry, but a Christian widow is only free to remarry another Christian.
This commandment of the Lord is as plain as can be written.
She may be happier if she remains single, if God is calling her to remain single.
Remaining unmarried may offer this widow more opportunity to serve the Lord.
It is always more important to remain in the will of God for our lives!
We must remember that every word we have from the Apostle Paul came by the Holy Spirit.
Every word we have in our possession is a word that came from our Heavenly Father.
Psa 119:89 LAMED. For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.
1Pe 1:25 But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.
Amen
